To say that I’m having a problem with being an empty nester is a slight under statement. Not a day goes by that I don’t try to bargain with some deity to go back in time so I could be with my kids while they were younger. To go back to a time when we all lived together and relive those precious memories. I would give up everything for just one more moment with them.
Today was the first day since moving to Oregon that I haven’t had a day jammed pack full of activities. I realized that I was filling my day to distract myself from this constant state of sadness and regret. I can’t stop thinking of all the times I took for granted. The family trips we took together that we will never go on again. I’ll never get to watch them play in the yard, or watch them ride their bikes up and down the street and I just can’t bear that thought. It’s just too painful. Those were my favorite times…
Everyday I wake up and beg the universe to let me just go back…Please, just this once. I’ll do anything…
I just can’t let go. I just can’t move on and I don’t know how to get over this.
I used to be a woman with a purpose…now I just walk around empty and alone.
I desperately need to see my kids again.