So, it’s no secret that I have almost no confidence in myself. I doubt myself in every single thing I do. I rethink every decision I make. I constantly ask others if they think I made the right decision. I am a ball of insecurity and self doubt.
Despite all this, I have managed to accomplish a lot of things. Don’t ask me how I did it…I just did.
Anyway, I have one on one meetings weekly with my boss every Monday and then I was chosen to run the weekly huddle for my districts managers this month. I have been dreading both all week. I was hoping and praying I would get sick and I would have to bow out. I was on the verge of tears this morning. I felt so unqualified and intimidated by both meetings.
My one on one was first and my manager was 15 minutes late. Thank god…LOL and when we finished with our discussion, he told me I exuded confidence! I almost feel out of my chair. I must be a great actress.
Next was my huddle…and I’ll be damned that nothing horrible happened. I was prepared, had all my material posted and people actually responded to my questions and we had a really good huddle. WTF?
Most people will probably think this is no big deal, but I still have in my head that I am a screw up and loser. When things work out and I actually follow through with my plans I am surprised. I never thought I could be like this, ever. This just blows my mind.
I’m still trying to get my sons here for the holidays, please donate to my givesendgo linked below.
Also, I started a new page on Facebook called Portland Oregon Through My Eyes. Please follow it to see why I love this city!
This definitely hits home for me. I struggle a lot with confidence and seeing myself as someone who can accomplish things.