I’ve finally started counseling to deal with the compounding grief I am feeling due to the death of my parents, sister, and the move away from my children. It’s been so rough. I mean some of the darkest times of my life. I cry almost every day when I think of my parents or my kids. This has been a long journey and has affected every aspect of my life. I am angry, bitter, and just basically an awful person to be around. I’m hoping to change that.
I took a grief assessment and scored I guess pretty high…whatever that means.
One of the activities my counselor wants me to do is come up with 3 positive memories and 3 negative memories for my dad, we’re starting with his death first because I scored the highest on his assessment. My problem with this is that I don’t have a lot of specific memories, I have vague memories…So how am I going to do this?
I also am thinking of making this a very basic podcast, just because it might be helpful for other people. I know I have said I was going to do that with a bunch of things. I just have PTSD with podcasts…bad experiences with my past podcasts. LOL
I also am not very disciplined. I come home from work, go for my hike, cook and clean, and then I just want to veg out. I just need to get my shit together or I’ll never accomplish anything.
Dear god, help me! LOL
I’m still trying to get my kids here for Thanksgiving. If you know anyone who has any extra cash to throw my way, let me know! Here’s a link to my GiveSendGo :) Thank you for all your support and love. I appreciate you all.