This is part 2 of the story. This part is more about the emotional side of it. I honestly don’t like it, but I decided to leave it how it is. However, I want to go on record saying that I sound like a spoiled brat.
To read part 1, please click the link below.
The night of the incident, Doug came home from work and we discussed what happened and what we should do next. He was adamant that there was nothing we could do, but did bloviate about the things he would do if he could. I was so frustrated with him. He always would go on and on about all things he would do if ever the government ever did such and such, and here is an opportunity for him to put his money where his mouth is and he just wanted to walk away. I just could not do that. I could not back down. I was always taught that I have to be the one to stand up for mine and my families rights and that I only have the rights I’m willing to fight for, and god dammit, these are worth fighting for. I will take this as far as I need to to get justice for my kids.
When the ACLU called me the day after, I was really elated. I called my husband after I got off the phone with them and kind of gloated about it. Here he was telling me nothing can be done and I was able to get something accomplished. Me, the timid woman who always deferred to her husband, mostly out of fear, made something happen. It was a real boost in confidence. But that confidence will soon to fear and then resentment.
Once the letter from the ACLU hit the paper, I knew we would be getting calls which scared the living hell out of me. I wasn’t articulate. I had been on TV two times before. One time when I was the Missouri State Coordinator for the Second Amendment Sisters and the local news station did a piece on concealed carry and they asked to interview me about a letter I wrote to the editor regarding women, rape, and how women carrying guns is the great equalizer. The other time I cooked a recipe I created that won an award on the local morning show. Both times I was terrified and I don’t feel like I did very well. I was also very overweight and had almost no confidence. But I vowed that I was not going to avoid any of it. I was going to stand proud and speak up for my kids no matter how stupid I felt like I sounded.
But when I read the article the paper printed, I was absolutely gutted. I can’t remember the exact headline, it was the front page story, but it read something like this, “City Councilman Doug Burlison, has ACLU write letter regarding school drug searches.” Um, what? He wanted nothing to do with this. He was ready to walk away without a fight. But here he is getting all the credit, the credit that was supposed to be mine. I tried to be rational about this. I knew that since he was in city government he would naturally be the one the papers talk about to get readers. It made sense and I tried not to let it bother me. But deep down it did and still kind of does to this day.
The next few days were spent listening to Doug talk to reporters from all over the state asking him what he planned to do next. Now he was signing a different tune. He told them that he was going to fight this. The ACLU still had not decided if they were going to take the case but Doug was already explaining to me how he would not allow the ACLU represent us because of NAMBLA (North American Man/Boy Love Association). Apparently the ACLU represented that group in a case and he felt having the ACLU represent us would look bad for his re election chances. That made me mad, but I didn’t say anything. Then he told me that he had been talking to The Rutherford Institute without my knowledge about the case. It was becoming increasingly clear to me that I was not going to be involved in any of this.
About a week later the ACLU contacted me with their decision. They had decided not to pursue the case, but on the same day The Rutherford Institute asked Doug if they could represent us. I was happy we had someone to help us, but frustrated that I had nothing to do with any of this. I know that sounds so petty, but I feel like this was ripped away from me and made into something about Doug. This was supposed to be my fight for my children, not about getting brownie points for Doug and his reelection.
The case was filed and then more hit pieces were written in the papers about my children and Doug. I knew Doug could handle it, but I was worried about how this would affect my kids. In the lawsuit, Doug and I were the Plaintiffs and only Connor and Hannah’s initials were used in the complaint. However, since Doug was on city council, everyone knew who the kids were. I was worried they would be singled out in school by the teachers and administrators. However, my kids told me there was not any blowback from teachers or anyone else for that matter. The case was discussed in some classes and usually the teachers sided with the school, I expected that, but the teachers, to their credit, never insulted my children or us in their classes.
The next bit of tension between Doug and I was in the matter of damages. Doug was already getting blowback from the community for “wasting” taxpayers money on a frivolous lawsuit. They would bring up that he was the guy who said that he wasn’t going to allow unnecessary spending but here he was suing the school, making them hire attorneys and pay for court costs. So he was against asking for any money from the school for damages. I, on the other hand, was absolutely in favor of asking for damages. It wasn’t about the money, it was about holding them accountable for what they did to my children. A lawsuit was not enough in my mind. I thought that the only way to make a point was to hit them where it hurt, right in the pocketbook. I wanted to make them pay for what they did.
Doug and I fought a lot during this time. I at one point confronted him about leaving me out of all his interviews and podcast appearances regarding the case. It scared me, but I had to say something. He asked me, “Do you think I like all this negative publicity?” I said, “Yes, Doug, you love it. You always want to be the martyr.”. It might sound harsh, but I assure you it’s true. And it wasn’t all negative press, either. Doug was well known in the Libertarian community in the early 2000’s. Plenty of people sung his praises for sticking up for his “step children”.
By the time we were to have our first deposition, I agreed that we would not ask for monetary damages. I wasn’t comfortable with that but I did it to keep the peace. Both Hannah, Connor, and I were all deposed on the same day. It was quick and painless. We had one more discussion with the lawyer about damages, which again Doug insisted we ask for none. And soon after that, the case was going to be heard before the judge. We talked over our course of action with the attorney and the arguments he was going to make. I was nervous, I knew our odds weren’t good, but I was trying to keep a positive outlook.
Is what we are teaching kids today, is that in order to be safe, that we must submit to a government controlled system, and forfit the right to privacy, and the right to unreasonable search and seizure, because somebody may have a controlled substance. Based on this flawed logic, you could search whole neighborhoods rummage through people houses and belongings, because somebody may have drugs. Where is the reasonable suspicion? Are we so afraid, that we have to throw du process out the window, for a fishing expedition through your children’s belongings? What are you really teaching the future, submit or be punished? Oh, and damages? One silver dollar, and an injunction against the violators.