I just don’t understand people these days. They act contrary to how I was raised to behave and how I was taught people were going to behave. I just feel like I should have been born in a different time, like the 1950’s or something. I feel like a complete stranger in the world. You might think I’m speaking politically, which is entirely true, I have different political values than 99% of the population, but I’m used to that. What I’m not used to is this ‘new’ attitude and treatment of people.
My parents raised me to live by the norms and values of the 40’s and 50’s. I was always taught to call my elders by their last name, Mr or Ms and then their last name. It is a gesture of respect and since we are not friendly with each other, it’s just the thing you do. You don’t call people by their first name or nickname until you are given permission by that person to call them that. Which is why I’m put off by people I don’t know that call me Mell. Um, did I say that it is ok to shorten my name? I don’t get mad, I don’t hate the person, I don’t lash out. It just feels intrusive and disrespectful.
Another thing my father stressed with me is to not be nosy or demanding when you go to someone’s house. When you go to a friends house, you don’t look around at their stuff. You don’t snoop, pay attention to only what your guest shows you. You also never ask for anything. You wait until it is offered to you. You don’t know that if what you are asking for would cause an undue burden on that household and they might feel bad for saying they can’t accommodate your request. It’s all about respect for the other family.
Another thing that was ingrained into my psyche was that sex was supposed to shared with the person you love and are in a relationship with. My dad always taught me I should wait until marriage to have sex, obviously I didn’t, but I do not have random hook ups or casual sex. I just can’t do it, it’s just not me. I’ll never forget my first boyfriend. I was in 8th grade and I went to a private Christian school. I wrote my friend a note saying I was going to “do it” with my boyfriend. Our teacher found it and gave it to our principal. My parents were called into the office and were told what happened and showed the note. I knew I was in trouble.
An odd thing happened though, I didn’t get yelled at. They didn’t restrict me from seeing him or talking to him. They trusted me to do the right thing. My dad was just so upset he didn’t talk to me for three days straight. Not one word. And finally one day, I was in my room sitting on my bed listening to music and my dad walks up to my door and stands there with the saddest look on his face. He started talking to me telling me my mom was a virgin when they got married and he wasn’t and that made him feel so bad. He told me that we owe it to our future partners to be the absolute best we can be. He talked to me for at least and hour about relationships and our responsibilities to our partners. I’ll never forget what he told me. We ended up hugging and crying at the end. That moment had such a profound affect on me. I’ll never forget it.
My father also insisted that no matter what was going on or how hard financially my parents had it, there would always be a hot meal on the table at night and we would sit at the table and eat as a family, no excuses. We would sit around the table and talk about our day and typically listen to my dad’s lectures on the government and religion. This is a tradition I carried on in my family. I think it’s so important to reconnect as a family at the end of the day. It binds you together and helps keep a cohesive family unit. I believe this is one reason why my family is so close. We bonded over dinner every night.
I don’t expect anyone to understand this…when I talk to people about this they think I’m insane. To me it just makes sense tough. It makes for a polite society. This is just my 2 cents though, obviously I’m biased and have lived a different life than most people. But these were some of the values that our culture thrived on in the past, maybe we should bring them back.
I understand this completely. As a Christian, perhaps you’re familiar with the concept of being *in* the world, but not *of* it. If so, take some measure of comfort in knowing that, if you are uncomfortable in mainstream culture, perhaps it’s because you’re doing something right.
https://youtu.be/auXMoGWu2Ks
I have pre covid and post covid. I felt like an outsider looking in before 2020 but in 2022, almost 2023.. I feel like I literally died and got stuck in some kind of purgatory. I no longer socialize, every attempt to date results in either a bot trying to scam me, a chick trying to charge me money or sell me her "premium content" and should I occasionally get a legit woman sometimes, its always the same - things start off electric, we're both super engaged in conversing then 3 to 12 days later, they just ghost with no explanation. I can't even begin to detail my issues with this reality but it literally is the antithesis of everything I'm about. *and yes, a Twilight Zone episode just came on the radio as I got ready to press submit.*