Growing up, I never got to celebrate Christmas in its traditional sense. My father raised us to “not be fashioned after this system of things”. He was a Christian at the time, but he also knew that Christ really wasn’t born in the winter and that the Roman Catholic church adopted the holiday from Pagans in order to get more people converted to Christianity. He just considered it just another Pagan holiday full of Pagan traditions. So, we never had a Christmas tree, no decorations, and never exchanged presents as a family. It was tough for me growing up because I didn’t really understand it. I remember every Christmas Eve praying and pleading to god “please let there really be a Santa clause” over and over so I could wake up to a beautifully decorated tree with presents piled high underneath it like all the other kids I knew. And every Christmas morning I woke up disappointed. And it would be hard when I would go back to school after Christmas break and have to lie to my friends about what I got for Christmas, because I sure as hell wasn’t going to tell them my family doesn’t exchange gifts. It was hard, but to me it was normal and I was being a good person, which is all I ever aspired to be. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I was learning what the true meaning of the holiday really was.
We never had decorations up in the house except the little projects my sister and I would bring home from school hanging on the fridge. Christmas lights were my favorite though so anytime we went out at night I would memorize the lights I’d see on the houses in my neighborhood and play them over and over in my head while I drifted off to sleep. It really made me appreciate those little moments of joy and awe I would feel when I saw a fully decorated house. I can still remember some of those houses.
The one thing we were allowed to do on Christmas was to have family members over and have a big dinner together. These would become some of the most cherished moments of my life. I had the most amazing family. I had 3 great aunts and my grandma who all married immigrants from other countries. My grandma married Oscar who came over here from Denmark in the early 1900’s. My Aunt Ealma married Dave, an Orthodox Jew from Russia. My Aunt Matilda married Benjamin Garcia from Spain, and my Aunt Fenke married Wong Ying from China. They all had the most amazing stories that they would retell every year. I couldn’t wait to hear them.
Dave would walk through the door and the first thing he would do would be to squeeze my cheeks and tell me how big I was. It hurt so bad! Wong would greet me the exact same way every year and it would go something like this:
Wong looking at me, “Now who is this cute little girl.” in his very thick Chinese accent.
Me really believing he didn’t recognize me. “ It’s ME! Mellony!”
He’d smile and say, “Mellony who?”
Without fail, I would say, “It’s me! Mellony Joy!”
He’d chuckle and say, “Oh yeah, I remember you now!” and give me the biggest hug.
We would all sit together at the table and exchange stories. I’d hear stories about Russia, Denmark, China and Spain. I would sit and listen in awe and dream of going to those places when I was older to see the where my most favorite people in the world lived. And even though they have all passed now on, their lives and stories still live in my heart and in the retelling of those adventures to my children.
I tell a lot of people about my experiences as a child and some people say they feel sorry for me. I don’t though. I learned so much, and even though it was hard living it, I learned a lot about the real meaning of life and Christmas. Always cherish the moments with your loved ones. They are fleeting and there will be a time where you would give anything and everything to have just one more moment with them. Don’t take for granted the little things in life. The beautifully decorated houses and the bright lights that illuminate everything around it. It’s those little things that bring us the most joy, those are the gifts that live with us forever. That is the true meaning of Christmas, creating those memories for our loved ones and those around us.