When Tyranny Becomes Law, Resistance Becomes Duty
The day I decided enough was enough
Ben and I moved to Portland in December of 2019. We enjoyed 3 months of relative freedom in the People’s Republic of Portland before all hell broke loose and the “pandemic” started. Our shelter in place order was issued Monday, March 23 and I vowed to not comply. I knew from the beginning that this was nothing more than a power grab and that once we let them have this much control of our lives, we would never go back to normal. So every day I made sure Ben and I went to the city and walked the empty streets, visited the bridges, and frequented any business that remained open. At the time, I worked at Starbucks, Ben was out of school since all the schools were closed and while I was at work he would play basketball at the park around the corner from us. It was really the only thing he could do besides play video games. And it was at this park that I reached my breaking point.
It was April 9, 2020, I had gotten home from work, made dinner, and decided to go for a walk at the cemetery across the street from our apartment. I was under a lot of pressure and feeling a lot of anxiety over this whole situation and walking helped ease that anxiety. I moved over 1600 miles away from all my family and I was dealing with this crazy situation all on my own. The only thing that kept me sane was 4 friends from Facebook that called me at least once a week to check up on me.
I was finishing my walk when I got a text from Ben who was at the park. It was an image of the basketball hoop with a board strategically placed to render it useless.
When I saw that, I lost it. It infuriated me. Basketball was the one thing Ben loved more than anything else. He spent hours on the court everyday, it was the one thing that kept him sane through all of this and now these bastards took it away. I literally ran the entire way to the park. I was livid.
When I got to the park, it was full of people just sitting in the grass, talking. I walked past the tennis court that had the nets taken down, the playground equipment that was all tapped off to prevent kids from having fun, and countless plastic signs warning us of the dangers of covid. I found Ben and he showed me the hoop. I don’t know what snapped inside of me, but it was at that moment in front everyone, I started throwing the signs on the ground and ripping the tape off the swings and jungle gym equipment. I was done. I would not let this happen to my child.
While I was in the midst of my righteous indignation, these homeless people that live in their van started walking towards me. As they approached me, they started yelling.
“Hey, stop doing that! Those are there for a reason!”
I was so mad, the only thing that came out of my mouth was, “this is bullshit”
They replied, “You should be ashamed of yourself. You’re teaching your son to disobey the law”
By this time I had removed all the tape, the signs were on the ground and Ben was telling me to calm down. I started walking towards the homeless couple. I was ready to confront them. I honestly don’t know what was going through my mind or what I was yelling at them, but I was ready to throw down.
Ben grabbed me by the shoulders and started pulling me back. He just kept saying, “MOM!!” I know he must have been scared. I don’t think he had ever seen me so angry or worked up. He just kept trying to pull me back. I finally snapped out of it and we started to leave the park all the while the homeless couple were berating me, telling me what a terrible parent I was. I was visibly shaking and scared. I didn’t know if someone called the police and I just wanted to get out of there.
When we got back home, I called my friends to tell them what happened and to decompress. Most everyone was supportive but they reminded me to not get into too much trouble and control myself. If I was ever arrested, Ben would have no one. That scared me to think that I jeopardized his safety with my outburst. Ben and I had a long talk about the incident. I promised him that I would do better to control my temper. I spent the night vacillating between shame because I lost control and pride because I stood up and fought this insanity.
I never had an outburst like that again, most of my disobedience was more planned and subtle. However, I did walk past that park every day and did manage to tear down the signs and tape every time I walked by.
This kind of spontaneous anger at least has the potential to trigger rebellious thoughts among the masses. It's an underrated emotion.
Hahaha that’s legendary. Good work.